What's Wrong With...

What's so wrong about being a christian? When I first came to college, I was so filled with the spirit of the Lord and I couldn't wait to attend church and do all those beautiful SAVED activities I was so used to doing at home in Mississippi. Three weeks in Florida really changed all of that. I not only conformed to things of the world, but I hid my feelings from my friends about how I honestly felt about God. I couldn't bring myself to say, "Hey, I believe in God...I pray...I'm delivered from the things of this world". I kept wondering if there was something really wrong with me. Was there something wrong with wanting to pray...but not in front of my friends? Yes...there was a lot wrong with it.

If you're going to hide God from your friends because you're ashamed to say I'm saved, I'm a child of the most high...then you should know he'll hide himself from you. He will turn his back on you with a quickness and not look back, because when it's done...it's done. God says if you're ashamed of me, then I most certainly am ashamed of you. All of the miraculous works he's done and I wanted to act as if he'd done nothing for me...I could've slapped myself. I had to learn the hard way...I went through my freshman year of college alone. Of course I had supportive parents and siblings, a church who adored me, and was a member of the concert choir however, I was alone. I felt empty, impotent.

For my actions, I had to sit out of school an entire semester and hear God everyday (and I mean everyday) chew me up and spit me out. I understood what it meant to be his child then. He talked to me as if he was standing right in front of me with a finger inches away from my nose. I knew I had to get it right...not just because I wanted oh so badly to return to Florida, but because I knew I only had one shot left. It was either get it right (or make an attempt at getting it right) or die (not physically, but emotionally and spiritually). I knew I didn't want to die; living in a world without any feelings? I knew I didn't want that...so I straightened up.

It's funny how I see things now. I've been back in Florida since January, haven't bought any books yet I've made nothing (as far as grades are concerned) below a B+. Everything I've asked for (financial aid: Full Pell Grant; extra money: cousin in Chicago sent $140.00 just because; have an on-campus apartment) I've gotten it. I buckled down, stopped partying every weekend and began studying...hard. All I have is this one shot and if I mess it up it's back to Mississippi I go (nothing against my state, it's just I've lived there my entire life and I'd like to see the world). So I ask you, Mr or Miss Reader, what's wrong with being a christian and telling the world you love God and the Holy Trinity (Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost)? Nothing, absolutely nothing.